poor alex.
…our quiet, stickler-for-the-rules, over-achiever… stuck with a family in which this is a disadvantage.
Any parent can inflict middle-child type issues – that’s rookie stuff. We Iseminger’s… we strive for screwing up our kids via innovative, unchartered paths. We completely shun our first born.
I can’t even imagine if she should read this – she’s a drama queen, she’ll run with the ‘woes me’ pity party; so let me clarify: Alex is far from neglected, it’s just that Cal is the only son for this blogger who wanted a houseful of boys (oh shut up… the girls are keenly aware of the fact I only wanted boys, we have counseling funds set aside for them), and Abby has 319 cubic yards of personality crammed into a little sprite of a body.
That leaves Alex, our first born, our reliable, serious, accept-nothing-but-perfection, beautiful girl for us to forsake (case in point – I started this entry almost 3 weeks ago……. oh that poor Alex).
Again… let’s be clear… we spend copious amounts of time toting her ass to softball tournaments all over this state (and neighboring states) and we never miss her other events – it just seems… we don’t record them… you know, for posterity.
Of course, she hates having her picture taken so I will have that to fall back on; unfortunately she’s also the premier authority on the dissemination of guilt so it’ll still be my fault. “Mommmm, I can’t BELIEEEVE you didn’t MAKE me have my picture taken….” I’ll just look her square in the eyes and holler, “I only ever wanted boys anyway!” then I’ll throw some of her psychiatry fund at her and storm off (I’m feeling pretty good about my odds if I come off as the offended party).
So, in the name of putting her therapy fund to good use…..
She had her first marching band outing 3 weeks ago and I have not a single picture. NOT.A.SINGLE.PICTURE. We stood right in front of her – seriously… we were nowhere to be found for the football game and then at halftime, there we were… front and center on the 50. (you can bet your sweet ass we’ll be found when Cal is out there playing….)
This girl lugged a bari-sax around the field in 85 degree heat wearing wool coveralls, jacket, one of those ridiculous hats and awful, awful, horrendous shoes. Stop it all of you marching band people, stop it now – you know those outfits are outlandish (the fact I didn’t get a picture just to taunt her with shows my mental decline).
My favorite part of the get-up is – none of those football players will give my girl a second glance while she’s prancing around in those shapeless……. pants(?) – I don’t even know what the hell you’d call ’em. In a group of similarly clad individuals, marching on the field with various instruments, it’s at least excusable… walking around the sidelines – not so much (yay! she can date AFTER she completes her residency).
As far as not getting pictures goes… does anybody besides me wonder what the hell Dan Iseminger was doing during all of this??? I was, after all, doing my part – standing there with tears dropping, wondering how I made this amazing person who absolutely slays every single thing she tries…. He’s the music guy – he’s the band parent. All of this musical talent stems from him and his kin – why wasn’t he taking some damned pictures?
Anyway… at home later, I told her we had no photographic evidence of her first outing; in true Alex I-am-the-worst-at-everything fashion, she lamented “oh I so don’t care… I was awful! Weren’t you paying attention mom? I played the wrong note a few times, I stepped in the wrong direction twice…” I stopped her, “Alexandra… it’s me. My musical prowess begins and ends with the on/off button of the radio – of which I have about an 85% success rate. I have zero idea what you’re supposed to be doing or playing – frankly: I’m the best fan you could ever have.” She’s 14, she’s ostentatious, she beat me down… in defeat, I finally agreed she sucked….
Earlier, when she emerged from the locker room (is that where they ditch those heinous outfits??? I should probably know more about this….) she was carrying the box which housed her new marching band shoes (trust me, they’re as ugly, if not uglier, than they sound); she handed me said box, I peered inside and said, “well hell! This is fantastic… now we don’t have to shop for Homecoming shoes!”
She cried.
(for the marching band record: Dan told me the Everett Band was fantastic)